Being and Becoming, Magpies Installment 13
September 14, 2009
I grew up in big cities. Dawn grew up in the country. I was a mall rat. She was a child of the corn. I listened to Rock and Roll while she listened to country music. I felt the urge to share my gifted prowess with as large a group of believers as possible, (Weren’t they going to be blessed?) whereas she felt a compelling burden for the lost tribal peoples of the world. My youth group experience was a big one and a good one. Hers’ was a small one. My church had thousands. Her church had tens. My church focused on growth through small groups. Her Church was a small group. We had opposite visions and similar gifts. And then God introduced us to each other. “Dawn, here is the man you are going to marry. Be patient. He’s not ready yet. In fact, He’ll need a few years to get over himself. I have called him to do something tribal though.”
“Doug. You see that woman over there?”
“Yes.”
“The intimidating one that you don’t deserve. Well, I’m going to draw her your way. Just keep quiet and I’ll work out the details.”
It was love at thirty-seventh sight.
It was also a merger of mission and a confluence of passion. The marriage, that God ordained and prearranged through an unusual set of circumstances, melded two hearts together in him. And so we began to walk together.
At first there seemed to be a bit of personal indecision but in every instance God clarified. In His clarity we found our bond. We both loved the ministry to kids working toward adulthood. We loved teenagers, and in that passion we saw direction. God began a refinement in us.
Being and Becoming
This process of synthesis, or the merging of our experiences and desires, which so many seem to balk at, is what God most often uses to streamline our lives for ministry. He is making me. He is not just giving me something to do for Him. He is molding me to His image and He can use anything to accomplish that purpose. In my case, He used Dawn.
I was speaking at a well-known Christian college in the middle of the country recently. When I finished the convocation I offered to hang around and talk. Find me a Starbucks and I can go all night. I’m a “hang out and talk” kind of guy. I was deluged by students. They waited patiently to ask what was, essentially, the same question. The truth is that whenever I speak at colleges, I hear the same question hundreds of times. “How do I find the next phase of life?”
It is not only a matter of finding God’s will but also a matter of finding yourself in it. My answer is the same too. Don’t be afraid to do something while you are waiting for everything. I remember the sensation of the impending future, as C.S. Lewis put it, “rushing at me like wild animals.” Job fairs and Career days all had this affect on me. I walked away with all of the free stuff and no clearer idea as to my calling. I desired to have God come to my dorm room at night and tell me, “Doug. You need to spend a few years doing construction work. Then I will reveal my will on a cement slab”. I may as well have been searching for Jimmy Hoffa.
You see, I believe in the result. God believes in the process too. A number of years ago, an old friend of mine became my mentor in one sentence. Don Lonie, the most prolific and perhaps controversial youth speaker during the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s, told me that God was more interested in who I was in Him, than what I was going to do for Him. Boing! Something sprang free in my brain. God’s work was being accomplished in me as I chased after Him! I have discovered a grace in God’s refining. God is not looking for results. He can’t help but have those. He is searching for disciples who will join in His process.
Finding myself in the will of God requires that I become immersed in it; that I seek my identity only there. God’s will has always been found in his person. He in me and I in Him is the creed of the follower of Christ. This principle of being and becoming is more important to God than doing and accomplishing. It is this that changes our persona. It allows God to show us His vision of us. It is where I find victory over sin. It is where I learn to trust verses that I have memorized but secretly question. It is His promise and my reformation. God is emerging us and always has been.
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Beautiful story. Can’t wait for next installment. :)
Thanks Doug. Keep writing it down.